Thursday, August 30, 2012

My Facebook Decision

I have recently decided to deactivate my facebook account.  I’ve been thinking of doing it for a while, over a month now, and finally decided to do it this week.  There are so many reasons for my decision, but it boils down to one thing.  Facebook is destructive.

The first and foremost reason I left is that I feel that I’m being called to get off the social media site.  It’s something that has been on my brain for a while and I think there’s a reason for that.  I really feel like God is telling me to get back to the basics of relationships and friendships.  To spend more QUALITY time with my friends and family when I’m with them instead of looking at my phone.  I feel like I’m being told that as of right now, facebook is an “idol” to me.  It’s incredibly addictive and I spend more time finding out what is going on in the lives of people that I never see than in God’s word.  About a year ago, our Sunday School class agreed to get off facebook for one week and during that week, I honestly wondered why I was on facebook in the first place.  There are so many reasons that facebook is destructive.  Let me list the ones that led to my decision (by the way, I am not judging anyone that has done any of the below things.  The reason they are on my list is because at some point or another, I HAVE DONE THEM):

  • It creates a “fake” perfect life - I truly believe that facebook creates a picture perfect life of every person or family and let’s be honest, none of us are perfect.  Our spouses aren’t perfect.  Our kids aren’t perfect.  Our lives….NOT perfect.  But we sure do like to let people think it’s perfect don’t we?  Putting up pictures of flowers our husbands/boyfriends sent us or those pictures of that growing belly from pregnancy or putting up pictures of that brand new BMW that you just got or even the status’ of how our children are completing milestones well ahead of schedule.  These things show up in ALL of your friends newsfeed.  Including the friend that has no husband or boyfriend to send her flowers.  The friend that can’t physically get pregnant to take those belly shots.  The friend that has to work nonstop and still can’t afford a BMW.  And the friend who’s children have a developmental disorder.  It can be damaging to these people, even though you don’t intend for it to be.
  • It creates gossip - How many times has someone said to you “Did you see what she posted on facebook? How crazy!”. It creates an outlet for gossip that wouldn’t be there if you weren’t on facebook. Chances are, people may stop coming to you to talk about what someone posted on facebook if they know that you’re not on facebook. Of course, you’ll probably still have those people that will come tell you because you’re not on facebook, but overall, I think being off the website would decrease this occurrence.
  • Things can be taken the wrong way when written instead of spoken - Whether someone comments on your status or writes on your wall, it’s hard to tell if someone is kidding or not through text on a website.  You may go insane analyzing if they were joking or if they were serious.  It causes people to get defensive and can even result in estranged or even broken friendships.  Unfortunately, I have seen this happen.
  • It belittles the true meaning of friendship - How many of you have friends that think that by writing on your wall once a month that they’re keeping up with the “friendship”?  I have a ton.  And honestly, I am one too.  If I were off facebook, then I would be forced to keep up with my friends the good ole fashioned way, by talking to them.

So what does this mean for the blog?  Good news, I won’t be getting rid of that.  If anything, it may make me blog even more since I won’t have facebook as an outlet anymore.  I don’t have any of the above issues when it comes to blogging and I think it’s a safe outlet to have my friends that I don’t see often keep up with our family.  Unfortunately, I just don’t have the free time to call and talk to my friends that live out of state as much as I want to (no time for anything with a child!) so I think that by blogging, they can still keep up with us.

As for how long this hiatus will last.  No telling.  It may even be permanent.  In fact I’m honestly planning for it to be permanent, but we’ll see what the future holds.  The good thing about facebook is that I can deactivate my account and leave it deactivated for years and when I come back, it should be right where I left it.  Downside - I’m going to have to learn people’s birthdays :(


A Wedding Story said...

Wow! I love your honesty. I'm thought about deactivating facebook a lot, but I have so many out of town family members that enjoy Avery pictures I'm hesitant to do so. It causes a lot of anxiety sometimes, although I try for it not to. It will bother me when a friend brags or tries to act differently, when I know how they really are in real life. Bravo to you for taking that step girl! I respect that so much :)

Fiona aka DRMama said...

Good for you! I wish I could be so strong. Living in the DR... so far from all of our family and close friends, it is definitely a nice way to get photos of Alidia out to them without individual emails, but really it would be nice if I could do more individual emails for updates instead of posting on FB. You have motivated me to at least cut down on this and try to send more emails or do Skype calls (unfortunately meeting up to chat in person doesn't work for us in most cases). Again, good for you! :)

Lindsey Scott said...

All of those are very good reasons to get off Facebook. I have my own convictions too, especially my iPhone! Very addicting! Good timing on getting off now since its football season!! I hate all the annoying comments this time of year.

Jenny Strickland said...

So proud of you Marcie! This is a wonderful post! So honest and true!!!

I want to do the same thing! The only reason I have kept my facebook this long is because my brother and his family live in California. So its my way of keeping up with them! Especially since we have such different schedules!

Its almost sad... How "perfect" people make their lives on facebook. Really on any social media. I have been guilty of it before. And it makes me sick to think about!

Hope y'all have a good weekend!

Allison said...

That's awesome! I think you give very valid points for getting off FB. I've thought about it, too. I commend you for biting the bullet and doing it!

I get convicted about how much time I spend watching tv, when I could be using all those hours to study my Bible/spend time with my family, etc. I completely understand where you are coming from!