I’m going to make this brief because I am exhausted from getting no sleep last night and the fact that I have been crying uncontrollably today is making me more tired, so I am about to head to the couch to watch movies and do absolutely nothing all day. I sent an email today to some family and close friends giving an update on the doctor appointment so I’m just copying from that email so I don’t have to rehash it all again. Several people called and texted me during the appointment and I either didn’t respond or I was very short in saying I didn’t want to talk and for people not to call me. So this was my follow up email to that:
I’ll give you all an update on what happened at the doc today. For those of you that I texted or even didn’t respond to a text, I apologize for being short. I was devastated and really just didn’t want to talk to anyone. We’re back at home now and I’ve calmed down a little bit so here’s the full gist of what the doc said:
First, I’m still not progressed from what I have been the past three weeks. Frustrating. Doc said my body is really not ready to be induced and he doesn’t really want to yet. So he told me to schedule an appointment for next week. He is out on Monday so I scheduled it for Tuesday at 10am.
Second, since my actual due date is next Tuesday and I’ll be 40 weeks then, he will check me again and if I’m still sitting in the same spot I am now (1cm and 50%) then he’ll admit me that evening and start me on cytotec (a pill they have to put in the hoo ha for it to work – not looking forward to that). They’ll check me every few hours and if I have to be put on Pitocin I’ll be put on Pitocin, but some people have gone into labor just off cytotec and never needed Pitocin, so it just depends on what works for me, or Carter I should say.
Finally, they had me do a non-stress test today, which was unexpected. The nurse asked me if he was still moving all the time and I told her I felt him move while we were in the waiting room, but that overall, he doesn’t move all that much anymore. The only reason I’d never brought that up in previous appointments is because I was under the impression that as he we get closer to the due date, movements are supposed to slow down because there’s just nowhere for him to go. She talked to my doctor and they wanted to send me to ultrasound to do a non-stress test (we didn’t get an ultrasound though). They put me in a recliner in a room and strapped two monitors around my stomach and monitored his heart rate and my contractions (I had none – shocker). I had to press a button anytime I felt him move. The test was to see if his heart rate went up as he moved around because it should be (just like our heart rates jump when we move or do activity). If it wasn’t, it could indicate that he isn’t getting enough blood through the umbilical cord or enough oxygen, in which case they would have done an emergency c-section. I was hooked up to the monitor for about 6 minutes of him not moving so they brought me some Mountain Dew to drink. It was still another 5 or so minutes before the MD kicked in and he started moving like crazy. His heart rate increased each time he moved so the test indicated that he’s perfectly fine (and unfortunately completely content in my stomach).
So basically, worst case scenario, he’ll be here next Wednesday, the 28th. I’m still praying he comes on his own before then, but he is just really not showing any sign at all of wanting to leave my stomach. Sorry I didn’t text or respond to some of your phone calls. I didn’t even make it off of the exam table once the doctor left the room before I was uncontrollably crying. For those of you that haven’t been pregnant or haven’t been pregnant this long, I know it’s hard to understand why I’m so upset about this. I have never been more uncomfortable/in pain in my life and it’s not a pain that comes and go in waves, but this kind of pain has yet to leave my body in the past 4 weeks. I have gotten to where I literally can’t sleep more than 2 hours a night. I’m exhausted, I’m cranky, I’m hurting everywhere….and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. And that’s really hard to handle. On top of everything, I was so desperate for him to be here before Christmas and now that there’s a good chance he may not be, it’s kind of ruined my holiday. I’m sure I’ll feel better tomorrow, right now it’s all still fresh and I’m still upset, so please don’t be mad if I didn’t respond to you. I’m laying on the couch all day today and will probably just turn my phone off. Love all of you to death, and thanks so much for calling/texting and checking on me. Please just pray for me and for Carter. I know God has perfect timing and I promise I’m doing my best to remember that.
So there you have it. That’s what happened today. Unless Carter decides to come on his own, I’ll be pregnant for over a week. Yes, I know that to some of you, that sounds like not that long of a time. But if you’ve ever been pregnant, you know how awful the last leg of it is and how even one more day is excruciating, much less 8 more days. Just pray for us. Either that Carter comes on his own before then or then or that I become more comfortable, either prayer is fine with me. I’ll take anything!