I saw this on an email I got today and had to share because they are SO TRUE!!!
FAUX PAS #1: “LET ME TOUCH YOUR BELLY!”
We’re all guilty of the belly rub… it’s hard to resist. But hold back unless you ask the mom first. Not only is it scary and weird for her when someone, whether it’s a stranger or even a relative, touches her bump, but a woman’s belly is private and she may not want you reaching for it.
FAUX PAS #2: “I WAS IN LABOR FOR 36 HOURS AND I TORE LIKE YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE!”
Imagine hearing your own mother-in-law describing in detail how she gave birth to your husband. Are you squirming yet? It’s only natural to want to share your own personal experiences and think that it may offer some helpful advice. But just because you were in labor for 36 hours doesn’t mean she wants to hear all the gory details. You’ll only scare her (and the baby) with your stories.
FAUX PAS #3: “WOW, YOU’RE HUGE! ARE YOU HAVING TWINS?”
First of all, pregnant or not, no one ever likes to be reminded of their weight gain. Whether you genuinely are wondering if she’s having twins or it’s your way of saying she’s going to have a big healthy baby, keep any comments related to weight gain to yourself. After all, we all know this could sound like an evil way of saying “Wow, you’re one big heifer.”
FAUX PAS #4: “OHHH, I KNEW A (INSERT NAME). HE WAS THE BIGGEST GEEK IN HIGH SCHOOL.”
Ouch. Whether it’s a high school geek or horrid ex-boyfriend, we can’t help but connect a name to someone in our past. But it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself, or better yet, not even ask what they’re planning on naming the baby. “This is a seemingly harmless question and is one of the most hotly debated topics for parents-to-be,” says Carley Roney, our editor in chief. “Naming a child is one of the most personal things for parents and it’s hard enough to decide on a name without a committee chiming in. Plus, parents may want to keep the name a secret in case someone ‘steals’ the name.”
FAUX PAS #5: “COME ON, ONE DRINK WON’T HURT.”
No one likes a pusher. If your friend who normally drinks more than her share of Sauvignon switches to sparkling water, take it as a sign and don’t order a round of martinis. Your “in the baby zone” friend will become tired of saying that she’s “not feeling well” and be less apt to come out next time.
I would say I relate to number 5 the most, not necessarily because of drinking, but just having people not really understand why you don’t do things you used to do (although I’ve had my fair share of number 2 happening to me). I barely drank before pregnancy so that is obviously not an issue with me. I find the most judgment coming from why I go to bed early, why I don’t want to go out for long periods of time, why being around smoke bothers me, etc. Especially for women that have been pregnant before…just because you didn’t experience it in your pregnancy doesn’t mean I’m over exaggerating the amount of sleep I need or that I’m being “uptight”. I don’t want to go to a bar when I’m pregnant, even if I’m not drinking. PERIOD. I don’t want to be around smoke, even if the person smoking is not right next to me. PERIOD. I don’t care if you were able to rock out till midnight when you were pregnant, my bed time is usually between 10-11pm and it will remain that way, if not earlier. PERIOD. But even for the friends that aren’t pregnant and never have been, please be understanding of us fatties. Priorities change when you are the person that is 100% responsible for the safety of your unborn child. You all of a sudden become so protective and not willing to risk anything that even has a remote possibility of hurting your baby. This doesn’t make me a bad person or an uptight person. It makes me a mom.
2 comments:
I agree entirely with every single point on this post. I refrain from doing any of those things because I certainly would not want someone to do those things to me. Plus, I feel like most (if not all) of those things are quite rude, even when those people do not have that as their intention. We should all be careful in what we say and how we use our words.
First off, a BIG CONGRATULATIONS! I am so excited for you and Justin. Y'all have been all over the world, and I think you'll take on parenthood like it's the adventure of a lifetime! Y'all are going to love it!
Now that I've had my baby, I've found myself actually committing Faux Pas #2, and I get so mad at myself! If it's any comfort, I think women who commit that faux pas are not trying to scare preggos. Here's my theory: Childbirth is often THE most dramatic, challenging, significant experience in a woman's life...and there's almost no one there to see it, so we kind of just want to TELL SOMEBODY about it, not realizing how telling the story might effect others. And if somebody had a negative experience that they feel could have been avoided (like I did), that person might share their story because they think others might benefit from their experience. It doesn't excuse it, but if somebody had explained it to me this way when I was pregnant and being bombarded with "horror stories" I might not have found the stories so upsetting.
Good luck, it sounds like you're doing great!
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