Thursday, January 24, 2013

52 Things - Numbers 5 - 8

To keep trucking with the 52 Things Kids Need from a Mom (to read the first post, click here):

Number 5: To Keep a Date Night With Dad

I don’t think this is a huge secret to anyone.  Moms and dads need alone time to make sure their lives don’t revolve around baby.  This is how divorce happens.  You must continue to make your spouse your number 1 priority (because according to God, Dad trumps baby).  But the author stresses how important it is for your KIDS to see that date night is a priority for their parents.  If they see their parents committed to their marriage, they will likely also grow to believe that marriage is a huge commitment and not something than can just be dissolved with a piece of paper.  She says in the book “…our commitment to date night seems to give them a confidence about us”.  In a world with an unknown future and certainly an unstable economy, our kids need us to give them confidence that all is right in their world.

Number 6: To Make Them Sit Around the Table….And Linger

The author makes a note that as great as cooking for your family is, sometimes, the family needs to go out to eat so that there’s more “face time”.  It’ shard for mom to spend quality time with the family when she’s pulling dinner together, setting the table, cleaning up, etc.  Go out to a restaurant and….linger.  Hang out with your family while someone else makes the meal and sets the table and cleans up after.  The author makes note that during this “face time” everyone in the family is required to give 3 high’s and 3 low’s of the day.  It’s just a way to get your kids talking about their day and engage in their lives.

Number 7: Let Her ‘Yes’ Be ‘Yes’ and Her ‘No’ Be ‘No’

Boy is this a tough one or what?!!?  Especially when you see those tears when you’re saying no.  But kids need consistency.  If you give them loopholes, they WILL use them.  But she goes one step further.  “As their mom, I have learned to respond to the kids the way I would like someone to respond to me.  I try to take enough time to think about my answer, and then I respond to them with a decision I believe I can keep.  A long time ago, someone told me to say yes every time I can, so I’ve tried to do that.  Every time I can say yes, I do.  When I have to say no, I usually give my no accompanied by a quick explanation.  I like rational explanations, so that is what I try to give.  I can’t remember saying, ‘Because I said so’ but there have been a few times I’ve said ‘It’s not appropriate for you to know the details, so you’ll just have to trust me-my answer is no.’”  That little snipit kind of sums up this category.  Kids need mom to keep her word because as a result, we are training them to be like Jesus, we’re building a sense of security and we’re teaching them how to trust.

Number 8: To Be Delayed, Rerouted and Canceled with Poise

The author goes through an airport example of when something happened to her and her daughter that was so not acceptable.  But instead of losing her cool and going off on the employee, she kept her poise and later, her daughter commented on the fact that she didn’t lose control.  Kids are watching and they see when you lose your temper, whether it’s with them or with someone else.  We must keep our cool.  If we keep our cool, it will teach them to not over exaggerate things and to not be quick to anger.  This is one that will be extremely hard to do because there are things that happen to us all that make us want to blow up, but we MUST control our tongue and our temper.


Meg {henninglove} said...

i totally agree with all of these especially the keep a date night. it is important for your children to see that you keep your relationship with your husband above them and i dont think that is selfish at all.