Thursday, July 12, 2012

Today

Today, Walt Bridges would have turned one year old.  Some of you don’t know Walt and may not have heard about him from my blog.  I don’t even think I ever blogged about him in the time he was with us.  Walt is the son of two of me and Justin’s good friends, Katy and Joe.  He was born one year ago today.  On the morning of September 17, 2011, when Walt was just 9 weeks old, he went to be with his Creator in Heaven.  Walt died of SIDS in his sleep.  I was about 5 1/2 months pregnant when Walt died.  I was already a ball of emotions because of the extra hormones, but the death of a baby can send you into emotion overdrive.  I’ve never been to a funeral like that and hopefully never will again.  It was truly the saddest day I’ve ever experienced…and he wasn’t even my child.  Seeing Katy bend over that insanely small white casket to say goodbye to her son before they put him in the ground was unbearable.  UNBEARABLE.

So why the need to blog about this?  Well, for starters, I’ve been a nervous wreck ever since I got to work this morning.  I’ve been crying uncontrollably.  Partly due to the sadness that came with Walt’s passing and the hole that I know is still in his parents heart, but also because I’m mad at myself.

I’m mad at myself for all the times I have gotten beyond frustrated with Carter in the past 6 months.  For the times he wouldn’t sleep, the times he wouldn’t eat, the times where he screamed uncontrollably and I couldn’t calm him down, the times where he wouldn’t even let me take a shower, the times where he spits up or poops on me…I could go on like this for days.  Bottom line, I’ve gotten 6 months with Carter.  And Katy and Joe will never have that with Walt.  I am so blessed, even in the chaos.  Life is so short and you NEVER know when the Lord thinks it’s your time to go. 

A fellow blogger friend of mine is going to have a D&C today because she miscarried her first child.  Her and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for over a year.  Another girl that I was really good friends with in middle school and parts of high school (we lost touch as we got older) was pregnant with her fiancé's baby boy and a mere week before the birth, her fiancé died suddenly.  She is now raising a baby boy that she looks at every day and sees her fiancé.  Loss is all around us and for some reason it never really hits you until it happens to someone you know. 

So today, hug your children a little tighter.  Don’t get mad at them, but instead show them how much you love them and how you would do anything for them.  Because some people don’t get to experience that kind of love.

A friend of Katy’s made a video to honor Walt.  Click on the link below if you want to see it.  He was so beautiful.  At the time, Katy and Joe lived in Auburn, AL so we didn’t get to see them much.  But we were honored to be able to meet Walt for the first time a couple of weeks before he passed.  A group of us went to eat dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings in Hoover and they brought Walt and he slept the whole time.  He was such a good baby.  Happy Birthday Walt!

http://animoto.com/play/781cAkElt9vQztnJ2rHOiA

4 comments:

A Wedding Story said...

Wow. Thank you for this.

Fiona aka DRMama said...

I can not even being to imagine the loss that your friend suffered with the loss of their baby boy.... or any of the other losses you mentioned. When I finish this comment I am going to go and give my little girl an extra huge hug and remind myself just how blessed we are every single day.

Ashley W said...

Bring on the water works. Great post! I think it's true for all of us that we don't appreciate what we have until we lose it. Losing a child is something we wouldn't wish on our worst enemy and watching your friends go through that is tough. Very sweet post to honor Walt. Thanks for sharing.

Renee said...

I can't even imagine. I hate the thought of anyone having to go through that pain. It's just not fair. :(

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